| |
World of New Genesis
About
- Moloth – The Believer is Happy; the Skeptic is Wise
Friends
Projects
Site Content
|
|
After work yesterday, i popped over to the WR campus of MSC to get an appointment to see an adviser. As luck would have it, one was going to be available in 15 minutes… a Mr. Floyd. I had taken a class with Mr. Floyd before and found him to be the most laid-back, calm and understanding professor that i have had in a long time. Looking at my school records, we determined that i needed only two classes to finish up my IT Certificate… and, because i had already taken another higher-level class out of pocket, i could replace THAT class with one that i needed. That would leave me with a SINGLE class to finish up my Certificate. Awesome.
I’m heading up to the Macon campus this afternoon to speak with the IT Head to make sure that i can substitute that class. Mr. Floyd said that he couldn’t imagine that there would a problem with that.
After I got home last night, i decided to really blow myself out at the gym. I pumped and repped for about an hour. Well, actually… i worked out until i vomited. lol… meh, weight-loss and exercise. Maybe bulimia is the solution i’ve been looking for! 
Needless to say, my arms and torso feels like they are made of watery clay. I don’t feel that ‘torn’ sensation like i did with my abs the day previously. Hmm… maybe i need to do less reps with more weight?
While i heal up tonight, i’ll finish writing my Aspects and, if i have time, i’ll do some more callbacks from some interesting opportunities that i have been contacted about.
~~~~~~
See? i told you it wouldn’t be hard to find a job in NYC!
~~~~~~
379 contradictions in the Bible. Sandman, i’d love to hear you say “There are no contradictions in the Bible” again after reading through this.
~~~~~~
And you wonder why i vote Libertarian…
|
of Richard Dawkins videos! Note the very last one at the bottom… its the Rational Response Squad!
~~~~~~~~~~
A Dissent: The Case Against Faith
Religion does untold damage to our politics. An atheist’s lament.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15566391/site/newsweek
By Sam Harris
Newsweek
Nov. 13, 2006 issue – Despite a full century of scientific insights attesting to the antiquity of life and the greater antiquity of the Earth, more than half the American population believes that the entire cosmos was created 6,000 years ago. This is, incidentally, about a thousand years after the Sumerians invented glue. Those with the power to elect presidents and congressmen—and many who themselves get elected—believe that dinosaurs lived two by two upon Noah’s Ark, that light from distant galaxies was created en route to the Earth and that the first members of our species were fashioned out of dirt and divine breath, in a garden with a talking snake, by the hand of an invisible God.
This is embarrassing. But add to this comedy of false certainties the fact that 44 percent of Americans are confident that Jesus will return to Earth sometime in the next 50 years, and you will glimpse the terrible liability of this sort of thinking. Given the most common interpretation of Biblical prophecy, it is not an exaggeration to say that nearly half the American population is eagerly anticipating the end of the world. It should be clear that this faith-based nihilism provides its adherents with absolutely no incentive to build a sustainable civilization—economically, environmentally or geopolitically. Some of these people are lunatics, of course, but they are not the lunatic fringe. We are talking about the explicit views of Christian ministers who have congregations numbering in the tens of thousands. These are some of the most influential, politically connected and well-funded people in our society.
It is, of course, taboo to criticize a person’s religious beliefs. The problem, however, is that much of what people believe in the name of religion is intrinsically divisive, unreasonable and incompatible with genuine morality. One of the worst things about religion is that it tends to separate questions of right and wrong from the living reality of human and animal suffering. Consequently, religious people will devote immense energy to so-called moral problems—such as gay marriage—where no real suffering is at issue, and they will happily contribute to the surplus of human misery if it serves their religious beliefs.
A case in point: embryonic-stem-cell research is one of the most promising developments in the last century of medicine. It could offer therapeutic breakthroughs for every human ailment (for the simple reason that stem cells can become any tissue in the human body), including diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, severe burns, etc. In July, President George W. Bush used his first veto to deny federal funding to this research. He did this on the basis of his religious faith. Like millions of other Americans, President Bush believes that “human life starts at the moment of conception.” Specifically, he believes that there is a soul in every 3-day-old human embryo, and the interests of one soul—the soul of a little girl with burns over 75 percent of her body, for instance—cannot trump the interests of another soul, even if that soul happens to live inside a petri dish. Here, as ever, religious dogmatism impedes genuine wisdom and compassion.
A 3-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst. There are, for the sake of comparison, more than 100,000 cells in the brain of a fly. The embryos that are destroyed in stem-cell research do not have brains, or even neurons. Consequently, there is no reason to believe they can suffer their destruction in any way at all. The truth is that President Bush’s unjustified religious beliefs about the human soul are, at this very moment, prolonging the scarcely endurable misery of tens of millions of human beings.
Given our status as a superpower, our material wealth and the continuous advancements in our technology, it seems safe to say that the president of the United States has more power and responsibility than any person in history. It is worth noting, therefore, that we have elected a president who seems to imagine that whenever he closes his eyes in the Oval Office—wondering whether to go to war or not to go to war, for instance—his intuitions have been vetted by the Creator of the universe. Speaking to a small group of supporters in 1999, Bush reportedly said, “I believe God wants me to be president.” Believing that God has delivered you unto the presidency really seems to entail the belief that you cannot make any catastrophic mistakes while in office. One question we might want to collectively ponder in the future: do we really want to hand the tiller of civilization to a person who thinks this way?
Religion is the one area of our discourse in which people are systematically protected from the demand to give good evidence and valid arguments in defense of their strongly held beliefs. And yet these beliefs regularly determine what they live for, what they will die for and—all too often—what they will kill for. Consequently, we are living in a world in which millions of grown men and women can rationalize the violent sacrifice of their own children by recourse to fairy tales. We are living in a world in which millions of Muslims believe that there is nothing better than to be killed in defense of Islam. We are living in a world in which millions of Christians hope to soon be raptured into the stratosphere by Jesus so that they can safely enjoy a sacred genocide that will inaugurate the end of human history. In a world brimming with increasingly destructive technology, our infatuation with religious myths now poses a tremendous danger. And it is not a danger for which more religious faith is a remedy.
Harris is the author of the New York Times best sellers “Letter to a Christian Nation” and “The End of Faith.”
|
There are a number of aspects of oneself that one cannot change. There are far more that you can. Once you let go of the fear, let go of the hesitation, and let go of the part of you that holds you back, you can change almost every aspect of yourself. You are a sentient creature, and, as such, you have the singular power to alter your own mind, perceptions and physical reality. We are self aware and because of that, we can see ourselves from a limited third-person view… and from that view you can see where you were, where you are and where you’d like to go. We have that control and that power. I have always preached this, even though, looking back at the last 10 years of my life, i have not practiced it.
Here are the Aspects of my life that I MUST change in order to be happy:
Physical: I am not living up to my physical potential. With my height and overall frame, i could have a tight, cut and attractive body. All i need to do is make a focused effort to get some exercise, eat less (and better) and begin a weight-lifting regime to build muscle mass. I will be taking vitamins every day, without fail, and i will explore other nutritional supplements. I have always been ashamed to take off my shirt in public. I’m flabby and pale. While not fat, there is NO excuse for me to look (and feel) so out of shape. I want to have defined pecs, lats, delts and to get rid of the ugly and unnecessary belly fat. If i can attain even slightly visible abs, more the better. I want to LOOK like i care about my body. I want to be stronger, have more endurance and be confident that my body can handle the demands i might put upon it. Plus, the sexual aspect is not to be understated. Speaking of which, i have also started with a stretching routine (thanks, Dr. Joule!) that will help build strength and flexibility. Another angle is my complexion. I am going to purchase some skin products made for men and experiment with them until i find some that work well for me. Call it ‘metro-sexual’ if you want, but i want to take care of my face and skin. In addition to keeping my skin clean and healthy, i am going to start going to a tanning salon. Being pale CAN be very attractive… but, instead of a pleasant paleness, i turn pink at the edges and tips. A slight tan will make me look healthier and help cover up minor blemishes.
It comes down to this: I am tired of looking at other guys and knowing that i could be that attractive, but that I’m not. I want to be the guy in the room that other guys look at and say, “geez.. I wish I looked like that.” and that women look at and think, “There is a man who takes care of himself”. Why do i want this? Because i can have it. I have the ability and the potential. To not fulfill that is a disservice to myself and is a symptom of my lack of self-respect. I want to be healthy and attractive… and i am now willing to put forth the effort to be so.
Professional: This aspect is paradoxically the easiest/quickest and most time consuming/difficult to attain. In the short term, i want to find another job locally in the same field that i ma currently working. I can easily get paid several more dollars more per hour with my knowledge and experience. Those several dollars more per hour translates into several hundred dollars more per month. At the same time, i am already looking for jobs in the NYC area… if i happen to get a good opportunity up there NOW, i’ll simply go ahead and move up there. With my computer, desktop publishing, computer illustration and procedural experience i should have a use to someone in that area. Now, long term, i want to make my living due to what i think and my imagination. I am not a laborer. I have much more to offer than simple assembly-line type work. I can solve problems, figure out new ways of doing things and I can think outside of the box. I’m not the best at those things, to be sure, but i am worth more than Joe Sixpack. Eventually, i want to push and pursue a career in writing. I have been very, very lax in that arena since i stopped DMing regularly. Once upon a time, i was extremely prolific and had the most incredible plots and twists boiling in my mind. I want to get that back. i want to have a REASON to put that much effort and work into my stories. So, short term: new job here or there. Long term: explore my writing.
Financial: This is, of course, tied into the Professional aspect. I am in debt. The vast majority of my debt occurred when i moved out from home the first time. I was told by my girlfriend at the time (who lived a state away) that she would move down to be with me if i got a two-bedroom apartment. Well, she visited the apartment several times and, even after six months, she never moved down. I didn’t make nearly enough money to support myself and had to charge, on a credit card, even the basic things like groceries. Throw in a few car repair emergencies and you have the debt i have been lugging around for over half a decade. Recently, it has come to a head… my primary credit card went to a collection agency. Which, strangely, filled me with relief. The card is no longer usable and i am slowly, but surely, paying it down. I also have a second card that i have to use for over-draft protection on checking account and for (again) car repair emergencies. On top of that, i have a rather large bill from my several month old visit to the emergency room and CAT scan. My brother has been helping me tremendously over the last year or so and i owe him, as well. If i were to sell my car, i would be able to pay off almost ALL of my debt… but, of course, i would no longer have a car. I am willing to walk or bike to work. Its only a few miles down a main street of my town. No biggie. And, once i pay of my debts (and get a new job, see above) i will be able to afford another car. It works out. My goal is this: to be debt free before i am 30. I might be able to get to that point before i am 29. I am tired of feeling guilty and angry with myself for being in debt and having no money. My ultimate goal is to MAKE money… to actually have MORE money in the bank at the end of the month than at the end of the previous month. I do not have expensive tastes… i really don’t. I enjoy eating out, i purchase books and the occasional video game. I want to buy new clothes and new furniture, but those can come slowly and well within my budget. All in all, i do not feel like i have an expensive lifestyle… so why should i still scrounge?
Education: This aspect encompasses much more than just a college education and the degree’s that come with it.
(More Coming Soon)
|
Dragon Ball Z isn’t real. Dumbasses.
~~~~~~
Remember, remember the 5th of November.
- Remember, remember the fifth of November,
- The gunpowder, treason and plot,
- I see of no reason why gunpowder treason
- Should ever be forgot.
- Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, ’twas his intent
- To blow up the King and the Parliament.
- Three score barrels of powder below,
- Poor old England to overthrow:
- By God’s providence he was catch’d
- With a dark lantern and burning match.
- Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
- Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
- Hip hip hoorah!
|
I hit the gym last night and this morning, i’ve followed up on some job leads and i have hacked out some more on my novel…
I’m going to write a weekly schedule for myself that will remind me of which days i will be working out (and which areas), tanning, and writing. Monday, i’m going to get my next semester of college setup so that i can finally complete my Certificate and start into the degree program. I will be getting a new job, ASAP and i will be selling my car in the next few weeks. I am going to pay off my debts, start making more money, getting an education, going on a diet, sculpting my body and working on my inter-personal skills.
Janelle has stated that she knows some people in Brooklyn that need/want roomies (not to mention that she is moving there herself in February), so i have that lead in.
I have no fear. not anymore. I am at the bottom and i am going to claw and scratch my way to the top… i will not stop until i feel that i can be happy with myself. Respect, in other people, is only earned… why should it be any different with oneself? I have never earned my own respect. I have never accomplished the things that i told myself that i would. That is going to change. it has already started to change. and it will not stop until i am there.
My father has told me that he supports me and that he is extremely happy that i have (finally) had this epiphany.
Nothing can stop me now. If i fail, i will try again. if i make a mistake, i will learn from it and try something else.
|
NIN – I Do Not Want This
Im losing ground
You know how this world can beat you down
Im made of clay
I fear Im the only one who thinks this way
Im always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall Im drowning in
2 feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Dont you tell me how I feel
Dont you tell me how I feel
Dont you tell me how I feel
You dont know just how I feel
I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Dont tell me that you care
There really isnt anything, is there?
You would know, wouldnt you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those whove had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I dont have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Dont you tell me how I feel
Dont you tell me how I feel
Dont you tell me how I feel
You dont know just how I feel
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to f**k everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
|
Richard Dawkins versus Rev. Ted Haggard.
The stench of Christian hypocrisy is overwhelming me… i need to go lie down.
|
“That’s all you have to say?”
i have everything to say…
i’ve got more to say now than i ever have in my entire life.
I have been forever altered and changed. i still cannot eat or sleep. my mind is is stuck on overdrive and i cannot think of anything but getting back to where i was. I am in a place that i am not happy and that does not want me, i am utterly in love with a woman whom i cannot have and my life is completely devoid of any and all meaning. My life, as is now, i feel is almost worthless. I want something else. i want more. i need more.
I have already put in half a dozen resumes all over the NYC area (with many, MANY more to go), i am going to start writing, everyday, even when i don’t feel like it (until i get used to it and I have trained myself to do it), i am going back to college to finish up a few piddly classes and I am going on a diet, getting a tan and hitting the gym.
Its very simple: I am not what i want to be. i am not what i think i should be. I am not what i COULD be. My image of myself does not match the reality. I look in the mirror and i do not see Moloth… i do not see Scott Kelley. I see a shell, a placeholder. I see a void of a man. I see wasted years and a squandered life. I see a weak body forged by laziness. I am pale and flabby. I see a personality that has been suppressed. I see potential fading away. Therefore, stop whining and motherfucking DO something to change it. I either change my lifestyle now or i die. its that simple.
You want something? fucking PROVE it. DO SOMETHING to GET IT.
I have tasted life. I have tasted a mere drop of what is out there… and i’m addicted, like a pathetic lab-rat pressing a button in order to get another bead of sugar-water. i need more. i need it.
I am at rock bottom… i’m in debt, in a dead-end job, i have almost no friends, no love, no future, no prospects, nothing to offer and nothing to lose. Do not cross a man with nothing to lose. Like an animal backed into a corner, they will fight. they will fight for their very existence… and that is where i am at right now.
I’ve always told myself that i could do it. I’ve always told myself that i could pass the test when it came. Well, here it is. Do or die.
|
I have returned from NJ/NYC.
|
|
|
|| No Comments »