Moloth - The M-Forums

just a funny story i found on FARK...



Foreman Frank: Hey, you, you, get over here. Yes, you.

God: Um, can I help you?

Foreman Frank: "Can I help you," he says. Joey, yo Joey, get over here.

Joey: What's up, Frank?

Frank: This the guy?

Joey: Yeah, that's the mook. One minute, everything's going great, then this guy, comes outta nowhere, and suddenly, Timmy in the cement pit don't understand what the hell I'm saying anymore. Real sudden like. I hear it's that way all over.

Frank: Hey, mook, that true? You some sort of magician or something you went and made it so my men couldn't understand one another? You do that, mook?

God: Well, yes. You see, I was just observing this tower you were building, and I said to myself, "Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech." So, I came down to stop the tower by making everyone speak a different language because you planned to build it too high.

Frank: That's a pretty fruity way of talking you got there. Who appointed you the commissioner of how high we can build a tower here? What gives you the right to dictate how tall we build our buildings? Were you elected to that position, 'cause last I heard, I didn't vote for you. Did you vote for this guy, Joey?

Joey: Not me, Joey. I didn't even know there was an election.

God: Well, I'm God. You know, the all knowing, all powerful, all loving God of the Bible.

Joey: You hear that Frank, he's "all loving." You better watch his hands Frank, you're liable to get "loved" by this guy.

Frank: So, you're all knowing and powerful, huh? But you're afraid of a little tower being built by me and my men here? It's just a building, fer crying out loud! Why would Mr. Big Shot All Powerful be afraid of a little building for? You feel a little inadequate with your tool seeing our massive tower? That the kind of god you are?

God: Well, you were going to build it really tall and I thought it might reach all the way up to heaven, so I decided I had to stop you.

Frank: What are you, some sort of moron? Because you don't want us to reach "heaven?" Just how close to Earth is this "heaven" that you are stupid enough to believe that we can reach it with a stone building?

God: Well, uh, not that close really....

Frank: In a thousand years, people will build buildings a hundred stories tall, much bigger than what we are building here. I bet that will really make you jealous, seeing some 100 story tall building. You going to try to stop them? Or you going to wait 'till after they're completed and knock 'em down? Will those reach your heaven, Mr. All Knowing?

God: No, I guess not....

Frank: What if man learns to fly? That will make them go even higher. You going to try to stop them from flying? If they create a flying machine that reaches 40,000 feet in the air, you going to try to knock them all down, because you're afraid they might invade the airspace of heaven?

God: Well, I never really considered....

Frank: And someday they might even go to the moon and way beyond. That's many millions of times higher than this tower. You going to screw with them then, too? You going to blow up their rockets, ya turd, because they might rocket to your mythical heaven and disturb all your prancing and crap?

God: I, uh....

Frank: You worthless, punk. Get the hell out of here. Even with you screwing up our language, we're going to build this ziggurat, and some hanging gardens, too. And not you, or any other petty little god are going to stop us.

Joey: It's going to be one of the Seven Wonders of the World, that Hanging Garden is.

God: Well, uh, I also confused your language because if I didn't, humans would be able to do anything they imagined, and I didn't want that, as well. See, it wasn't totally about the Tower.

Frank: Ya know, I tend to think it's a GOOD thing when people work together to create the wonders their imagination can dream up. But, what do I know, I'm a f'n optimist. Mr. All Powerful, Knowing and Loving here, he wants to confound human achievement and hold humanity back. What a hell of a guy you are. You're a real class act, you are. Holding humanity back. Joey, get this mook out of my sight before I test how powerful his teeth are with my fist. I got work to do. We all got work to do.

End of Story

There's nothing in the Bible that says the Tower was built as a purposeful or even accidental insult to O.T. god. Nothing. The tower was just an indication to O.T god that the humans, with one language, were capable of building great things, anything they could imagine, and the O.T. god, not being a big believer in Free Will or allowing human achievement, went down to Earth personally to put a stop to it. The tower of Babel is just one of a hundred bible stories that are a monument to the truly awful nature of the O.T. god.